Dear Croquet Association,
Recently I have been having the strangest dreams!
Sometimes I am asleep when I have these dreams and sometimes I am awake and sometimes I find it is very difficult to tell the difference. Why am I telling you this you may be wondering? Well, the reason I am writing to you is two-fold.
One: in my dreams I am competing in a croquet tournament in Belsize Park with a man called Bernard (Bernard Neal perhaps, the Croquet Association President?)
Two: I have never played croquet in my real life before but I think I would be very good at it (if my performance against Bernard is anything to go by) and would therefore like to apply for a place in your next tournament.
I understand this may seem like a strange request but I have consulted a friend of mine who is an expert in dream analysis, (he works at PC World but has read many books including The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud and Around the World in 80 days by Vernon Kay) and he has said I even have a chance of winning the tournament!
I have read on your website that non-members are allowed to play in one tournament before they must become members? If I win the tournament, I should be delighted to become President of your association however if I lose I will never play croquet again I promise.
Yours faithfully,
Gerry
2 comments:
Dearest Gerry,
As a fellow reader of Vernon Kay, i am interested. in you. We have much in common as I also have dreams.
I have also set up a cricket club in your honour. i think you would do better at it, from all i know of you so far.
english is not my first language.
when can we meet?
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