An honest mistake

Tony Monroe thought that a cat house was a place you went to buy cats so he was genuinely surprised when he found himself engaging in the physical act of love with a woman he didn't know in exchange for money.

…

“It was an honest mistake,” said Tony to his wife, Cheryl, who had really wanted a cat for her birthday but now just wanted a husband who didn’t accidentally sleep with other women.

“So what was she like?” said Cheryl.

“She was nice,” said Tony. “But I think I upset her: after we’d finished I asked for a refund because I needed the money to buy you a cat.”

“Never ask a prostitute for a refund!” said Cheryl. “That’s the golden rule! OMG Tony, this is the worst birthday ever, not only did you not get me a present, you went to a brothel and insulted the “service provider” by asking for your money back!”

“If it’s any consolation,” said Tony, “when we were in bed together, I kept most of my clothes on and when I – you know – arrived … I said your name instead of hers.”

“You didn’t?” said Cheryl.

“I did,” said Tony. “I was thinking of you the whole time.”

“Why, Tony, that is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Tony Monroe then left the room and returned presently brandishing a box.

“And here’s your birthday present,” said Tony, “surprise!”

“A cat in a box: it’s what I’ve always wanted!” said Cheryl, tears of joy and sadness running down both sides of her face. “But I don’t understand. Where did you get the money from?”

“Well,” said Tony, “the cat house has a no-refund policy but the nice lady said I could start a tab instead. So I can pay the next time I’m there!”

Cheryl said nothing. There wasn't any point. She looked at the cat. The cat looked at her; they seemed to understand each other. Tony was in the dog house for going to the cat house but did he have any idea what he'd done? Cheryl looked at Tony, then back at the cat. “Forgive him,” the cat seemed to be saying, “for he knows not what he does.”

“Thank you,” said Cheryl.

“You're welcome,” said Tony.

“I wasn't talking to you,” said Cheryl.