Dear Hoover,
I was browsing on your website and I read that your mission is to "create products designed to make your life easier, wherever you are in the home". This is genius! Outside of the home, your products suck and make people's lives hell!
Last Tuesday I tried to take my washing machine to Regent's park and let me tell you it did not make my life easier at all, quite the opposite in fact. A real pain in the behind it was trying to lug it all the way onto the top deck of the 159, not to mention the funny looks from my befuddled fellow passengers. Then when I finally made it to the park there was nowhere to plug the wretched machine in. What an ordeal! I wanted to take my washing machine on the boating lake but the moron with the hat on said no. Crumbs!
I am so pleased that you have thought of all these things and woven them neatly into your company ethos.
Kind regards,
Gerry
P.S I am quite interested in becoming President of the Hoover Foundation please can I come in for an interview anytime really is good for me?
P.P.S I never heard a homeless person complain that his floor needed a hoover so you must be doing something right!
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