Amanda Quorn

Amanda Quorn was a devout and voracious carnivore. Indeed she loved poultry and game and once tried to get off with a moose (low in fat and higher in protein than beef or goose).

Although the Quorn family history could be traced back several generations (long before the advent of the dubious micro-protein based alternative to meat with which Amanda shared her name), very few people bothered to investigate her genealogy, and it was widely assumed that Amanda Quorn was a treacherous and perverted charlatan; a duplicitous and fraudulent sham, who would hoodwink the butcher at the drop of a yam. 

"I'm Quorn by name and name alone!" Amanda would declare from the rooftops, the blood of a boar dripping from her chops, but it was to no avail, the universal taunting would not stop.

Until one day she decided enough was enough and Amanda Quorn checked into the local asylum, where she was tragically mistaken for a fruit and swiftly turned into jam, (something she herself would never ever eat given therein the complete lack of meat) and despite the human rights protestations, her family's grief and abject disbelief, it was surprisingly tasty and higher in protein than goose or beef.