let's just say
you are attacked
for the sake of argument
by a shark
unfortunate yes unlikely perhaps
around these parts
but not impossible
now
with the internet on your phone
blessed with signal
you perform a quick search
"how to survive a shark attack"
on google or whatever
and wait for relevant results
or you could
if you wanted to
simply hit the fish
on the nose
with your handy mobile device
and get out of the water
as quickly as possible
you stupid bloody asking-for-trouble lazy lacking-in-common sense have you nothing better to do why do you think our ancestors came out of the water in the first place what's wrong with reading a book or watching Jaws on TV cack-handed attention-seeking twonk
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