The Awkward Foal - A Short Story

Once upon a time (back in the 80s) there lived an awkward foal. Despite being well over a year old, it was still definitely regarded as a foal and absolutely not a horse. Neither a filly or a colt, it was simply an indeterminate and dubious foal and a phenomenally awkward one at that.

In those days (back in the 80s) it was believed by the majority of the cognisant population that awkwardness was simply a hapless accident of birth but now it is widely accepted that it is not only awkwardness but life itself that is an inevitable, unremitting and unbearable accident of birth.

The awkward foal lived to be about six (6) and then awkwardly passed away.

The end.

p.s At the funeral there gathered a couple (3 to be exact) of animals (a donkey, a pigeon and a stoat) but they didn't know each other so no-one knew what to say.

p.p.s for example, eventually after the ceremony was over, (everyone was surprised at how long it was but said nothing) the donkey said to the stoat, "are you a weasel?" and the stoat said "no" and the donkey said "oh, i find it quite difficult to tell the difference," and then when it couldn't have been more awkwarder, the pigeon shat all over the coffin and it became even more awkward than it had ever been before.

a poem about tennis

at wimbledon
what an atmosphere
all those strawberries
all those balls
balls damn balls and statistics
how much would you pay
for a ticket you fair weather carpet licking mug?
traditionally we suck
at a game we invented
a man called roger
from switzerland
so cool under pressure
debonair and graceful
gazelle-like
ninja-esque
won so many times
was garnered with a cow
quiet please
there's a new buck on the scene
he's from scotland
and he really wants to win
not for a cow
or a goat or even a bear
but with all that prize money
he could certainly
if he wanted to
have his own zoo

www.commonsenseandlaziness.com

let's just say
you are attacked
for the sake of argument
by a shark
unfortunate yes unlikely perhaps
around these parts
but not impossible
now
with the internet on your phone
blessed with signal
you perform a quick search
"how to survive a shark attack"
on google or whatever
and wait for relevant results
or you could
if you wanted to
simply hit the fish
on the nose
with your handy mobile device
and get out of the water
as quickly as possible
you stupid bloody asking-for-trouble lazy lacking-in-common sense have you nothing better to do why do you think our ancestors came out of the water in the first place what's wrong with reading a book or watching Jaws on TV cack-handed attention-seeking twonk